“Tell ‘em why you mad, son! Tell ‘em why you mad!” – skit on Notorious B.I.G.’s Life After Death Remember that episode of The Simpsons that spoofed Cape Fear? You know, the one where Sideshow Bob passes out in prison after writing too many letters in his own blood, and Snake, his cellmate, says (in that scoffing voice), “Use a pen, Sideshow Bob!” After logging in several hours as this perma-pissed hero, I’m tempted to say, “Take some Prozac, Kratos!” Of course, there were no antidepressants or anger management classes in Ancient Greece. And therefore, in Sony’s God of War, we get the sort of rage-filled protagonist that most games (ahem, Warrior Within) shoot for, but don’t quite nail 100%. With all of the epic strength of a Greek epic hero and all of the rage of- well, let’s face it: this guy’s got all of the angst of Max Payne, The Prince (of Persia), and every angry character whose loved ones were wiped out by a villainous something-a-rather put together. And yet, he still seems angrier than all of them. You feel it with every mythological creature he grabs and tears in half. And that’s another thing that makes this title work so exceptionally well. Sony has effectively proven that A: when their first-party titles hit (some miss terribly), they hit, and B: the rumors of the PS2’s demise are greatly exaggerated. God of War is among the best adventure games I have ever played. Taking liberties with Ancient Greek mythology and wiping away the sanitized versions of the myths (Hades isn't voiced by James Woods here), it’s like Edith Hamilton running head on into Lara Croft and bitch-slapping her for good measure. As Kratos, a Spartan general, your family has been wiped out by Ares, the titular God of War (the latter statement has already been recycled by various publications. Don’t believe me? They all say “titular”). And you’re really f*cking pissed off, partly because he’s possessing you as well. Through graphic and visceral cutscenes, we see how Kratos is already a brutal and vicious warrior before his family is killed. The incident just completely pushes him over the edge. With the aide and blessings of Mt. Olympus, Kratos is given a free pass to go ice Ares. However, the only means by which this god can be felled is through Pandora’s Box. Visually, the game stands neck and neck with all of PS2’s visual masterpieces, including Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater and Ico. The development team truly recreate the epic scale appropriate to the storyline. Everything is sprawling and larger than life. When the narrator says that it takes Kratos three days to climb the tower containing Pandora’s Box, you believe it. When Kratos first crosses over into Athens and sees Ares decimating mortal armies in the background, it feels as huge as it should. In spite of a new generation of consoles on the way, if games continued looking this good, it makes me wonder what the big damn hurry is (although this is probably the maximum of the PS2’s potential). Regarding gameplay, it handles as smoothly and intuitively as the old PSX games did. Remember when you could play through an adventure game and it was challenging, yet you didn’t need a guide or an online walkthrough? Where if you looked around long enough, you could figure out what to do? That’s the puzzle layout of God of War. If you’re lost, look around at the environment and you’ll be able to figure out where to go. The combat system is one of the finest I’ve experienced in an adventure game. Since it’s combo-based (a la Devil May Cry), Kratos unleashes deadly attacks with the mash of a few buttons. Also, the finishing move mini-games are entertaining in and of themselves. The first time you force your blade into a Minotaur’s mouth, your jaw will drop. Oh, and then there’s that minigame in which Kratos beds a pair of pneumatic maidens. Yeah. This one’s rated “M” for a reason. All around, I emphatically recommend this title. There isn’t much more I can say. There have been a few gripes here and there about the length of the game (diehards will burn through it in a few days), but the replay value is high (good luck with finding those Muse’s Keys) on it, and since it’s a Sony first party title, you know there will be a sequel. Pick it up. Rating: 5 out of 5 anger management classes.